Let It Go
Are you letting your past define who you are now? Not everyone grows up in the house with the proverbial white picket fence. Dysfunctional family members are so relatable to the public nowadays that they are even main characters in primetime television shows. The point is that not everyone has a picture perfect childhood, not everyone looks back fondly upon their high school years, and not everyone has the best experiences throughout the rest of their lives.
If you have encountered undesirable occurrences in your life - whether it was a rough upbringing, torturous encounters with bullies during your school years, or maybe some bad romantic relationships – you need to take a good look at how these events have molded you into the person you are today. All sorts of personality traits can be blamed on your personal history.
Freud believed that babies who are not shown the affection they crave would eventually grow up to become melancholy adults. Although today’s psychology experts have since discredited a lot of what Freud believed, the idea is still a valuable one: your past has an affect on who you are today. It is up to you to decide whether the affect your past has on you is going to be detrimental or instead beneficial.
If you find that you are having trouble letting certain things from the past go, then perhaps it’s time to go on a serious soul-searching endeavor. Remember that you continually grow psychologically, and just because you were dealt some bad hands in the past, does not mean that you are a slave to your history.
Consider all past experiences as valuable ones. It can be said that your past defines you, or at least it helped form who you are today. Facing adversity in the past does not necessarily guarantee a scarred life forevermore. Some people take the bad things that happened to them in the past and use them as powerful learning experiences.
The fact of the matter is that, even if your life has been riddled with problems this far, there is no reason you cannot learn from your past and allow the events to teach you lessons. Have you had a particularly bad relationship? Take a hard look at what lead up to the relationship, such as why you chose the partner and why you stayed up to the point when you left.
Are you trying to recover from a particularly bad financial situation? If you analyze what led you to get into the situation to begin with, it can teach you how to never get into that sort of situation ever again. No matter what your life has been like so far, everything that has happened to you has helped to make you what you are today. You need to decide if you would rather ruminate over any bad experiences you have had, or if you will instead use them as valuable tools and move on with your life in a positive manner.
Acknowledge your past so you won’t be doomed to repeat it. Many people do things throughout their lives that they later consider to be mistakes…some events are so painful to think back on that people might wind up suppressing them and not allowing themselves to think about them ever again. This does not refer to regressive memories, but rather to events that a person is embarrassed about and chooses to not think about.
Cheating on a partner might fall into this category, or being involved in some sort of criminal act. Acknowledging your past does not mean that you need to announce to the world that you have had these sorts of experiences in your life, but instead it is more of an acknowledgement for your own sake.
If you find certain events in your past to have been so embarrassing or horrifying, the main objective is to give yourself the chance to mull it over. You should allow yourself to consider the various past events that you feel may be holding you back. You should also allow yourself the gift of forgiveness.
If you think about it, you are probably harder on yourself than anyone else is on you…if you forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made in the past you will find that you are better equipped to move forward in your life. What a powerful gift you can give yourself. No matter what your past holds, you can acknowledge your mistakes, forgive yourself, and move on.
Have a fun little “Letting Go” ritual. Many therapists and other psychology professionals endorse the idea of having a formal instance where you say goodbye to whatever memories from your past that are dragging you down. You might have pictures of a person who emotionally scarred you that you can burn, or maybe you have a piece of jewelry from a previous bad relationship that you can sell or give away.
Pick an action that will allow you to release the bad memory, and after your “Letting Go” ritual consider yourself as having moved on. Getting your life together will be so much easier if you go about it without a bunch of emotional baggage. There is so much more to changing your life than what has been listed so far, but use the suggestions as a sort of outline to get you revved up and ready to change your life.
There probably isn’t a person in the world whose life is absolutely perfect, and keeping a life in order takes constant revisions and flexibility. You can get to a point where you feel more satisfied with your life than you do now, however, only with some want and dedication.
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